What is a Regulated Nervous System and how Does it Feel?
With friends, family and clients, I constantly refer to regulation, the window of tolerance and the nervous system.
Humans are all equipped with similar nervous systems. We all can experience regulation and grounding.
In an attempt to break down complex yet simple tools, I’ve created this blog post for you to learn exactly what a nervous system is and what you can do to have a regulated nervous system.
What is my nervous system and how do I regulate it?
First, let’s start with some simple definitions.
Regulation
Staying mindfully connected to the body in the midst of big emotions or sensations.
Feeling regulated and having a regulated nervous system is simply feeling connected to yourself. It is not feeling rainbows and butterflies all the time with an outpouring of gratitude. It’s your capacity to stay present to all that is happening and remain in your window of tolerance.
Window of tolerance
The optimal zone of nervous system arousal where people can respond effectively to their emotions.
When you are in your window of tolerance, you can “handle” things. You can respond appropriately to life’s ups and downs while remaining present. When someone is out of their window of tolerance, they either move into hyperarousal (think of anxiety) or hypoarousal (think of shutdown).
Your window of tolerance can change over time. It’s not set in stone. With the help of therapy, mindfulness, breathing, and good self-care, you can learn to soothe your nervous system and expand your window of tolerance.
Nervous System
Originating from your brain, your nervous system controls your movements, thoughts, and automatic responses to the world around you.
Autonomic Nervous System (ANS)
The part of the nervous system responsible for controlling bodily functions not consciously directed, such as breathing, the heartbeat, and digestive processes.
Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): Your body’s accelerator, responsible for arousal and fight or flight response. Moves your body into quick action.
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): Your body’s break. It slows the heart rate down, relaxes muscles, and returns your breathing to a normal pace.
To experience the difference between these two systems, simply take a deep breath. You inhale, you activate the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)—the burst of adrenaline speeds up your heart. Exhaling then activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), slowing your heart rate down.
When you are first starting out with getting more familiar with your nervous system, don’t worry so much about remembering all the words and different states. I’d suggest starting with noticing when you are regulated versus dysregulated.
Dysregulation
An emotional response or feeling that is poorly regulated and does not fall within the traditionally accepted range of emotion.
Looks like: anger, anxiety, depression, substance use, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, etc.
What to do if you are feeling dysregulated
Just as regulation is part of the typical human experience, so is dysregulation. As well-adjusted, self-aware, healthy adults, our job is simply to notice when we are moving out of regulation and into dysregulation and then use the appropriate tools to self-regulate.
Regulation does not have to be a big commitment. If you only have five seconds available, great! Connecting with yourself for five seconds multiple times throughout the day is much better for your long-term health than operating in a high-stress state and then getting a massage once a month to compensate.
Techniques for a calm and regulated nervous system
If you have 30 seconds:
Squeeze a stress ball
Smell an essential oil
Practice 3 rounds of square breathing
Get out of your chair and jump up and down
Wiggle your toes and focus on feeling your feet supported by the earth below you
Run your hands under cold water
Get a cold beverage out of the fridge
Open your windows and notice the fresh air
If you have 1 minute:
Set a minute timer and practice rhythmic breathing: 5-second inhale, 5-second exhale
Do a simple body scan - send your breath and attention to different parts of your body, starting at your head all the way down to your toes
Practice five senses meditation
Name your sensations and emotions without reacting to them; just observe
If you have 5 minutes:
Make yourself tea
Walk around the block
If you have 10 minutes:
Put on a guided meditation on Insight Timer
Put on a ten-minute dance playlist
Play with your pet
If you have 30 minutes:
Take a bath
Call a friend
Watch a show that you know will make you laugh (my personal favorites are: Pen15, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and Seinfeld)
If you have 1 Hour:
Go to a yoga class
Read a book
If you have 2 Hours:
Go on a hike
Cook yourself a nice meal - be mindful when shopping, preparing and eating
Looking for more resources?
Regulating your nervous system can be fun, easy and 100% within your grasp.
Therapy: At Third Nature Therapy, we offer individual trauma therapy sessions for residents of New York seeking more support regulating their nervous systems.
Free Guide: For those outside New York we offer a FREE nervous system guide to full of practical
Course: If you want to build a deeper understanding of your nervous system and how to regulate it, the Nervous System Reset course is a great next step. Guided by a Licensed Mental Health Therapist and grounded in science, this journey will help you listen to your body, map your nervous system states and build the tools to return to safety.
Julie Goldberg is a licensed therapist and the founder of Third Nature Therapy. Her practice focuses on helping individuals better understand their inner world, befriend their nervous system (instead of working against it), and navigate changing relationships. She offers somatic therapy, EMDR intensives, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy in Brooklyn, NY.